Comedy Coven Halloween

Comedy Coven was nice enough to ask me to do an poster for their Halloween, ahem, Hallomeme shows. Tricia's concept was a fun one: it's the disloyal man meme (sample below) but the man is the Creature of the Black Lagoon walking with his favorite scream queen, Julie Adams, and the woman who's caught his eye is Elvira. 

finished product

WIP

I originally toyed around with a background more closely related to the photo in the meme, but then my lovely wife suggested illustrating Lansing's Robin Theatre, where the show would take place, along with the surrounding buildings. This is just one of the many reasons I keep her around.

the meme.

my lovely wife, pulled up on stage to help hammer a nail in this dude's nose! (photo courtesy Juila Kramer)

It Doesn't Fucking Matter: Comedy Coven Songs

I recently wrote three songs and lyrics (as well as some interim dialogue) for the fourth act of the most recent (and two-year anniversary) Comedy Coven show: Fake & Gay.

The setup: The Coven is fed up with dating guys with priors and girls who end up not being gay. Enter Emily's extremely scientific "Intraoral Kinsey Scale and Other Characteristics Thingy," which, with a quick swabbing of your partner's mouth, tells you most everything you'll need to know to figure out whether or not you're compatible. 

The below script (and mp3 vocal guides of the songs I delivered to the Coven) picks up just as Emily tries to pitch a catchy jingle for the device. They did a much better job delivering than I ever could, of course, and at the end had the entire theater slow clapping and singing along "It doesn't fucking matter!"

"THE INTRAORAL KINSEY SCALE AND OTHER CHARACTERISTICS THINGY"

Comedy Coven (L-R): Stephanie Onderchanin; Tricia Chamberlain; Emily Syrja

EMILY

I used to think maybe you loved me now baby I know,

Cuz we both spit on a swab and baby, oh baby, it showed

That we are sixty-seven per-cent compatible-oh-oh-oh.

Although the stuff that she wants in the bedroom makes me uncomfortable.

The intraoral Kinsey Scale and other characteristics thingy Oh oh!

The intraoral Kinsey Scale and other characteristics thingy!

STEPHANIE

Whoa-whoa whoa whoa. [song stops] That entire jingle is hugely problematic, Emily.

TRICIA

Also: holy mother of fucking fuck—what was that Katrina and the Waves shit?

EMILY

It’s upbeat. [Despondent] …Like love should be.

TRICIA

Also-also: uhh what kinky shit is she making you do in the bedroom you’re so uncomfortable with?

EMILY

[blushing, looks down; beat]

STEPHANIE

That’s exactly what I’m saying. You brush that off as if it’s nothing, but the rest of the song totally focuses only on the fact that you matched on the Kinsey Scale but nothing else. I mean come on guys, we all know…

TRICIA, EMILY and STEPHANIE

[TRICIA AND EMILY morose, like children just scolded; STEPHANIE proud] That to correctly look at behavior and sexuality, we need to consider them related but different things.

TRICIA and EMILY

[still morose] Yeah, we know.

EMILY

So… you’re saying you don’t like the song?

STEPHANIE

Just—just let me take a stab at it. We need the advertising to represent our rationale for the all-encompassing magnitude of the product. Okay, let’s see. …Ok. Ok, I think I’ve got it.

"BRAND REFRESH"

STEPHANIE

The one-dimensional nature of the Kinsey scale

Leads to an idea that the more

Attraction you have toward your own gender

The less that you have toward the “opposite”

Gender!

[spoken] What? My Spotify Discover Playlist had a bunch of Tool songs in it this week for some reason. …And I kinda liked it.

We need a brand refresh that’s intentional real quick.

This device will be intersectional or it will be

Bullshit!

It should account for all aspects of compatibility

Like if you found Kristen Stewart oddly sexy in the SNL Willy Wonka parody

She played!

Charlie!

It should tell me if you like the smell of patchouli

Or if you maybe like to tell jokes about dead babies

Like what’s harder than nailing a dead baby to a tree?

Nailing it to a… [upset] dead puppy.

[spoken] God dammit. I hate those jokes. I don’t know why I keep Googling them.

TRICIA

TRICIA puts her arm around Stephanie and strokes her hair

[spoken] There there. This device—it’s causing nothing but trouble.  

But I think I have just the song to make it all better.

[over intro of song] Yeah. That’s good. I like that.

photos by Julia Kramer

"IT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER"

TRICIA

Do you remember my boyfriend Chad?

Remember how he could always make me laugh?

I found out he was a flatulophiliac [spoken] That’s someone who’s turned on by farts.

We were still together eight months after that.

So just remember that

It just doesn’t fucking matter

Or how about that girl Emily dated who we all thought was great?

Her browser history was full of Vore, and I don’t mean to throw shade

But that’s fetishism for swallowing your partner whole after you mate.

So they both joined a student-run Vore club at Michigan State.

So just remember that

It just doesn’t fucking matter

I hope you didn’t think I’d leave out Stephanie.

She dated a girl who left her for a Brony.

Also Stephanie got into dudes wearing female doll masks—it’s called “masking.”

But that girl and that Brony are now happily married.

So just remember that

It just doesn’t fucking matter

TRICIA, EMILY and STEPHANIE

Oh-oh!

It doesn’t fucking matter

Oh-oh

It doesn’t fucking matter

[start handclap, encourage audience to join in]

Oh-oh

It doesn’t fucking matter

[repeat]

[good nights and thanks for coming over drum beat fadeout]

Comedy Coven Sampler CD

Music? Good. Free music? Even gooder! This 19-track sampler will be available for FREE (What? Yeah, you read that right, bruh.) at the merch table at this Tuesday's Comedy Coven show. 

The sampler includes some tunes I've recorded for podcasts and videos as well as some tracks from various bands I've been involved in (Farewell Scalar, The Captains of Industry), some tracks the Knee-Jerk Mag guys and I recorded for Kickstarter rewards, and a guide-vocal demo for one of the songs I wrote to be performed in the third act of the Coven show! So come for the Comedy Coven and stay for a free music sampler!

I'll also have a few copies of The Way We Sleep for sale for $10.

Learn how to get tickets for Comedy Coven XXIV: Fake & Gay HERE!

And if you're in need of some music for your next project, drop me a line at caseyjbye@gmail.com.

front cover

back cover

Cover illustrations manipulated from The British Library public domain files.

Ready for the merch table!

Comedy Coven Zine illustrations

I recently began working on illustrations and music for Lansing's Comedy Coven, a sketch and standup comedy trio made up of the amazing and talented Emily Syrja, Stephanie Onderchanin, and Tricia Chamberlain. I could spend hours writing about why they're awesome, but this Lansing City Pulse article does better than I probably could (plus: fascinating backstories of the group!). So go read that, then come back!

Below, check out some illustrations I've done for an upcoming Comedy Coven zine. And then check out Comedy Coven on Facebook, on their site, and at the Robin Theatre the third Tuesday of every month! Oh, and don't forget about their new Comedy Coven Presents series! The next one is Feb. 27 and featuring the hilarious Krish Mohan.

I'm so proud to have the opportunity to work with these insanely talented women. More Coven-related work to come!

A hovering Wiccan.

Deer in the moonlight looking out through a moon (whoa trippy!)

View fullsize

Hans Memling inspired hell-pit.

Floating schoolgirl witch with cyote pals.

A witch's ladder.

Demon-fingers witch hand with occult ring/braclet.

Crow in a tree.

Cloak girl.

Satan goat.

Grasshopper familiar.

Witch costume girl.

Ol' sunface.

Skull; excerpt from an original DC Comics Constantine sketch I made 2 years ago.

References (along with some fantastic pieces I found on Pinterest, most of them, unfortunately not credited).