First Manuscript Request Rejected (Queries Round Four)

Sunday I queried Mr. Richard Florest of Rob Weisbach Creative Management. This is the agency that represents Brad Meltzer (who wrote one of my favorite comics of the last decade, Identity Crisis), not to mention Jon Stewart and a slew of big name celebrities. This was a hail Mary on my part, but as I mentioned before, in the early stages of querying, I'm aiming big and throwing the spaghetti at the wall to seeing what sticks here. Plus the agency is focused on developing careers, and in their submission guidelines they even asked to hear about future projects and overall career goals, which really appealed to me.

Needless to say, I was shocked when Mr. Florest responded less than 48 hours later asking to see the manuscript. He did mention he wasn't crazy about More Like a Siren, Less Like a Bell as a title, but if I wasn't married to that, he thought it sounded like a really exiting project. I do love the title, but the book has had other titles in in various draft stages (including "Glib" and "Loretta's Scars" after the Pavement song, seeing as the main character, Loretta, actually goes to see the band near the end of the novel and the whole thing is about little events that have messed her up in one way or another).

So I sent the manuscript and yesterday got what I can only imagine is one of the most encouraging rejections ever emailed. 

He starts, "I tend to glance at the first few lines of every manuscript, only rarely setting aside the day's business to read (in this industry reading, I'm sure you've heard, happens at night, on weekends, etc.). Well, your story has a strange pull, and it proved to be one of those rare instances." So some nice ego-stroking there. At least this gives me an idea that my query letter is doing what it's supposed to.

He continues, "You have literary chops but a knack for pacing and tension that I'd typically associate with a gifted writer of suspense. And there are elements of the story that have settled under my skin in ways both pleasing and disconcerting." Okay, hugely complimentary and then that tiny, tiny pause for consideration in that word "disconcerting." I'm reading and praying, maybe it's something he thinks we can work through?

"So, then, know that I think you have the seed for something great here--I just think it needs to evolve quite a bit more before it's ready for publishers."

Tear.

He goes on to explain how, although he's a big believer in young audiences "reading-up," the content in the book may be too dark for YA. I've considered this myself, though have been encouraged to submit as YA from writing friends and in a writing consultation with First Blood  author, David Morrell. I've also been concerned about the book starting with an eight-year-old protagonist told by a third person narrator whose voice remains, throughout the book, mostly consistent with the grown, twenty-two-year-old version of that protagonist who we see in the majority of the book. Mr. Florest mentioned this "seemed to me a disconnect between the controlling narrative perspective and Loretta (and then, by extension, the primary intended audience for the book)." With the narrator's "concerns, perspective, sophistication (and then eventually the arc of the story)--too often it just didn't read YA to me."

So for a brief moment I started stressing myself out about how I might address these concerns in a rewrite, and would I even be able to, and am I a decent enough writer to make this stupid book even work?!? And then my confidence was restored in the next paragraph: "...As I read in spots I was reminded of some very successful stories: Mathilda Savitch, Eleanor & Park, a little bit of The Lovely Bones, even one of George Saunders' short stories. And maybe someone else will see a way with it in its current form. Regardless, good luck, and thanks again for giving me a shot."

A big time agent. Just compared me. To George. Freaking. Saunders.